i only have myself to blame though.
i've had diabetes since like 2017, i think? i honestly can't remember at this point. it's been a while though. i've mostly treated it pretty decently. medication and cleanish eating resulted in a consistent blood sugar level.
i'm not really sure what changed this year though. i don't know if it was tapering off the anti-depressants. something changed and i ate like shit and refrained from taking better care of myself. thus my mmol (blood sugar level measurement) hit a high of 77. that shit scared me, man. my diabetes nurse just said "hey, i'm gonna give you another pill to take". while that's cool and all, i kinda felt like they should have made a bigger deal.
my vision started getting fucky too. or fuckier. it started getting blurrier, more floaters and flashes. my double vision which i've had since high school got way harder to control. that shit is frightening, man. i don't wanna go blind. i'm 32, you know?
so i did a complete 180. for the last few weeks i've cut out all carbs (except veg) and all natural/refined sugars. this is TOUGH AS HELL. but it gets easier day by day and being faced with your own mortality puts things into perspective. humans are frail; we get old, we get sick, we die. we have to take care of our shitty, spongy outer shells for as long as we can.
this will either serve as an anecdote of how i fucked up yet again in the future, or a turning point of how i changed everything and stuck to it consistently.
shit, i hope it's the latter.
three months until the next review, wish me luck friends.
now playing:
driveways - constant sorrow
